How many times have you found yourself alone with no man around to satisfy your feminine needs? Maybe you're single and your vibrator batteries have run out and you need a substitute. Perhaps you're a lesbian and your strap-on girlfriends hasn't turned up. It's surprising how many girls turn to the kitchen in their search for substitute cocks. Fruit and vegetables are amazing creations of nature. Some it seems, like the cucumber and carrot, were almost designed with women's sexual needs in mind. A while ago, I ask you girls to send in your pics of your insertions, and you have responded pretty well. Keep sending in your pics and we'll build a fruit and veg page to beat all others.

Are you a fruite and veggie girl? Want to have your say here? Please e-mail me, I'd love to hear from you.

YOUR FRUIT AND VEGGIE INSERTION PICS

JULIE

AMY

ANNE

DONNA

MARY

Jane emailed me from the UK wondering whether deodorant bottle makers have women in mind. She reckons that some bottles are definitely phallic-like, and I have to agree with her. For centuries, women have used carved wood or wax candles as dildos, and I'm sure that even stone-age girls used fruit and vegetables to keep them happy while the men were on hunting trips for days on end.

Bridget, also from the UK, finds it interesting to watch young women choosing fruit and veggies in her local supermarket. She's sure that not all women choose veggies purely with the saucepan in mind, and I'm sure she's right.

Dianna emailed to say that she's a single girl of twenty-five and has been using fruit and veg ever since her school days. She chooses her dildos to suit her mood. A big cool cucumber if she needs a real good ramming, or a slim carrot if she needs a little vaginal caressing.

Janice is eighteen years old, and she's emailed me to say that she slips grapes into her pussy before leaving for college in the morning and enjoys the stimulating sensations all day. And then, after her meal in the evening, she relaxed in front of the telly and eats the hot grapes one by one. Well, Janice, that's certainly given me some fruity ideas.

Angela recalls her sex education lessons at school where the teacher used a carrot to denote the erect penis. This gave the class of giggling girls ideas which, according to Angela, led to a spate of thefts from the school kitchens. Word soon spread around the all-girls school of four-hundred pupils, and there wasn't a single carrot left in the kitchen store room. The headmistress discovered the shocking truth and, one morning in assembly, the girls were given a lecture on vaginal health.

Fifty-year-old Donna is heavily into celery. Straight from the fridge, she reckons that celery is a fantastic dildo. She's tried just about everything else but can find nothing to equall cooling celery.

However, not all girls enjoy a fruity phallus or a veggie dildo. Brenda has emailed me saying that she finds the idea of shoving bananas up her pussy repulsive. She didn't say why she feels that way but she did admit to owning several vibrators.

I'd love to hear from fruit and veg girls so, if you have a craving for bananas or cucumbers or whatever, please email me.

BRIDGET

JANICE

ANGELA

JANE

DIANNA

MY WEB SITE HAS MOVED

Due to a massive increase in visitors over the past year, I've had to make some changes to my web site. I had already teamed up with Ray Gordon, the world renowned author of erotic fiction, and have now rented part of his web server to cope with the increasing amount of visitors to my web site. To cover my costs, I will have to charge a nominal sum. However, you will have access to my private nude photographs, my ugly pussy pages, my teenage girl tit pages and so much more.

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